Five o'clock

Distance filled with mist
Failing the long wait.
Eyes wonder, fact hindered
as truth was ignored.

Fixing a destiny
to breathe the same air.
But if fate forbids the want,
proved effort can't save a doom.

Sunday Morning

Thanking our Lord for the clear blue sky. =)

Poetry.01

I gave myself to him,
And took himself for pay.
The solemn contract of life
Was ratified this way.

The wealth might disappoint,
Myself a poorer prove
Than this great purchaser suspect:
The daily own of Love

Depreciate the vision;
But, till the merchant buy,
Still fable, in the isles of spice,
The subtle cargoes lie.

At least, 'tis mutual risk, —
Some found it mutual gain;
Sweet debt of Life, — each night to owe,
Insolvent, every noon.


Emily Dickinson

Solo Flight

For days, I've been thinking of what to reward  myself this Christmas. I've been eyeing on these new gadgets but realized that it's a waste of money as it won't fit my boring lifestyle. Then I suddenly thought why not save it for my next travel plan? I would really like to go to Bangkok but since I wanted to experience traveling alone, I'd rather start exploring Philippines first. My top destinations would be:

1. Bacolod

2. Boracay

3. Cebu 

Well, it's just a thought and I don't know if I will have time to do that especially with the demand I have from work. But I was really inspired by a solo traveller (http://www.thepinaysolobackpacker.com/2011/04/19/solo-female-travel-101-a-starter-guide-for-filipinas/).

Just something to look forward to. :)

My Southern Palawan Adventure

September 17-20, 2012

At 6:00AM, my mom and I were already in NAIA Terminal 3 to check-in on a Cebu Pacific flight to Puerto Princesa, Palawan. Luckily, weather was not so bad though it was not that sunny. It was an hour flight and we arrived at Puerto Princesa Airport at exactly 9:15 in the morning. 

Puerto Princesa Airport

A carabao we saw resting
beside the road.

A friend had fetched us and brought us to the city terminal. Since it has been raining for weeks now, the river going to our property in Quezon, which is located in the southern part of Palawan, is not passable by smaller vehicles. We had no choice but to ride this big jeepney almost the size of a mini bus. It was non-airconditioned and jam-packed. It was actually fine with me as I wanted to experience the real adventure going to our property. The jeepney was fully-loaded. Inside are the passengers and above the vehicle are the lugagges and other stuffs of the passengers. Everyday, there is only one trip going to Puerto Princesa City and back to Quezon so residents in Quezon are maximizing their trips to the city and will buy everything they need. It was a five hour trip! It's like going to South Korea or Japan. I don't know the exact distance from the city as it was too far, it was literally in the middle of nowhere. But to be fair, it took us five hours because some parts of the road are not yet done and we have to go on every town we pass as there are passengers who needs to be dropped. We left the city terminal at 11:00 AM and (alas!) we arrived at 4:00 PM.

From the road, we have to bring all our lugagge (most are food bought from the city) down to the shore where our little house was built. Luckily, our caretaker and his son were already there waiting for us. We were at the top so the pathway going down to the shore was very steep. It was also raining so it was very slippery.

I'm not an athletic person and I've always been in the city. The last time I climbed a mountain was 12 years ago. It was easier though as I was going downwards but I must follow my mom's advice to be careful not to step on the little invisible creatures living in the forest so I must continously say "tabi-tabi po, makikiraan lang po" to show respect. Despite being a "city girl", it would be better to just follow this local custom and be careful. 

Finally, we arrived at the shore and when I saw the house, I was amazed! I never thought it would be that beautiful considering that it was only our caretaker and his son who built the house. As I said, it was in the middle of nowhere, hence, there's no electricity and worse, no telecommunication signal. :(

Our little hut.

Gloomy Monday afternoon. :(

I didn't get to enjoy the beach that day as it was still raining. I was also very tired after our long trip, I slept without any difficulty.

But on the next day, the sun started to come out. It was a very relaxing place. It's very quiet and all you can hear are the waves and chirping of birds from the forest. We also eat breakfast and lunch in the little dinning hut they built just beside the house. Good thing, I didn't buy a skimboard yet beacuse the beach isn't advisable for skimboarding (the big waves are far from the shore).

Tin-tin, our guardian.

I'm used to all the noise and seeing people. Since we are alone there, there are times I feel a little bit scared at night. It's so dark, and you can't see if someone's out there. I'm a little bit paranoid, I know, but if something crazy happened, nobody can hear us. Good thing, our dog (we named her Tin-tin) is very vigilant. Sometimes, there are fishermen from other towns who pass by our shore. Even though they are still far away or even if it's dark and they don't have any lights, Tin-tin easily sense them and she will start to bark.

We stayed in our property (my mom called it Bambolina) until Thursday morning. But we almost got stranded because the van which supposedly will fetch us still cannot pass by the river and even the jeepney going to the city doesn't really go as far as our place. So on Wednesday morning, we went to our so-called neighbor (I guess it's around 1 km distance) which is a Bible school for orphans. Fortunately, we met a pastor who's willing to give us a ride to the town where the jeepney passes by on their motorcycles. 

Damn tired...

But thanks to the beautiful view around me. 

So on the rainy Thursday morning at 4:00 AM, we started our way, climbing the very dark woods with only two flash lights as our source of light. I was panting heavily and it didn't even occur to me that anytime, a snake or wild boar might show up as I was very tired and felt like throwing up. I also don't know how long is the distance from our property to the town but I guess it took us 45 minutes to get there. But when we arrived, the jeepney wasn't there yet. There are actually only few houses in the town, and most are rice fields. In the middle of it, we saw a house with lights. So we went there to rest and they generously welcomed us. The house has already a small generator that can provide electricity for a few light bulbs and for small electronic devices. At 6:00 AM, the jeepney finally arrived. We said our goodbyes to the nice family and the pastors who helped us. I felt relieved that we had surpassed such challenge. For 4 days, I had been praying to God to guide us and He surely didn't fail.

As usual, the jeepney stops at every town to pick-up residents who are going to the city. It was still drizzling and we arrived in the city by 11:00AM.

First stop over.

Inside the jeepney with Mom and Vandolph, our caretaker's son.

I must say that my experience is a fruitful one. I had learned a lot and it had opened my eyes on the situation of my fellow Filipinos. Whenever we pass towns and seeing children walking along the muddy roads just to get to school, I realize that life is definitely hard on their part. I always see on TV the situation of some rural areas but seeing it myself is different. We complain on what we have, but these people almost have nothing. We complain when there's no internet, but in these places, there's not even an electricity, yet, they survived.

But one thing really wonders me until now... How did these people get there? Especially in our property. Someone had showed it to my mom so my mom gets to know it. But for the first settlers there, I can't imagine how they found the place, thinking that surely, there are no roads yet back then.

Crazy, I don't know. But one thing's for sure. I shall return. :)

Poor Reader

It's been a month since I came back here in Philippines and I'm loving every second of it! No job is keeping me busy at the moment but I'm trying to make the most out of my free time until I get a new job again. Since a have a lot of free time in my hands, I started getting hooked in reading books again instead of surfing the internet or watching movies which is a total opposite of what I do back in Dubai. 

After finishing the last book I had read, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (which I bought for only Php 79!!!), I felt crippled not reading anything. I'm on a budget so I cannot spend lavishly on any book I just wish to read, I started reading old books (and manga). 

But then, I guess I was lucky. We went to Shopwise Alabang and found these 2 books for only Php 99!!!

How cool was that?!

Just have to dig into the pile of books to find good ones.

I think after my so-called vacay I really need to start looking for a job to satisfy my hunger for books.

But the question is, if a start working again, can I still read??? :)

I am an enemy of the devil.

Waiting for something you are unsure of is painful.

But whenever I feel hopeless, I feel lucky to still remember to keep my faith coz that's all I have for now. And since I don't know what to do, I randomly opened my small biblicard book and found this:

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lio looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brother throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

1 Peter 5:8-9 NIV

Honestly, I do not religiously read the Bible. But whenever I'm confused, it guides me.

Still hoping for a good news by tomorrow.

Last Lazy Days

Found 2 lazy-looking camels in Bur Dubai.

I don't think they're that excited to go to Manila.

I don't really care, coz I am. ;)

Bullsh*t.21

Who says we're poor if we only have rice, tuyo (salted fish) and instant pancit canton for dinner? But what we've got is more of a social-climber-brand. LOL.

At least, my roommate and I have each other this Ramadan. 

♥

18:53

"It seems like I had forgotten how to cry for a while now and I fear the day that I'll become numb. That to love will just be a compulsive habit and to sympathize is just another routine that doesn't differ from apathy."


(written 991 days ago)

Facebook Rant

One night, out of boredom, I decided to change my relationship status in Facebook. I just thought that Facebook doesn't really entertain me anymore. For me, it's just a tool to get in touch with my REAL loved ones. Since no one cares about my posts, I thought, what if I changed my relationship status? How big can the impact be? How curious can people get? And I did not fail. After changing it, immediately, a high school friend had already posted her comment. Then there comes next until it got 25 likes and 15 congratulatory comments from most (not all, okay) people who don't even bother how I am or where the heck I may be. I had talked about this to a colleague (as he believed that I am really in a relationship and I feel that he is jealous coz he's still single. haha!), and I told him that I didn't imagine that people will respond to it like that. And he said that obviously, I put in on Facebook so that people will know. Well, he's actually right. But it still makes me think that some people are just plain shallow coz some of these people doesn't even care about me, but in just one change of relationship status, I felt that they were all trying to enter my life. After seeing this and proving that your status in Facebook "matters", I suddenly wondered what could be Mark Zuckerberg's real intentions. Did he intend for these people to be hooked-up/addicted like this just for the sake of being updated or it's just a clean intention on making a tool to connect people and at the same time, make money out of it? Well, whichever may be true, that still makes him guilty by association. 


Though even I do not know what made me do my "experiment", there's one lesson I learned: Facebook stressed the crap out of me, yet, until I'm away from my family and friends, it's the best tool to keep in touch with them. And the best solution is: stick with my real purpose of using it. 

The So-called Quarter Life Crisis

It's been 8 months and I feel that I'm still trapped here wasting my time. Well, not totally. I still get to go around the city and the beach (which I really, really love!) but it seems that I'm going nowhere if I stay here longer.


On my way home tonight, I told my supervisor that I don't have any plans in my life (I'm giving her a hint that I'm leaving very soon but most probably she didn't get it). She told me it's fine since I'm still "quite" young but I should think about my plans more seriously when I turn 25. So that means I only have a few months left to fool around? I had told myself that I will do whatever makes me happy. I spent most of my younger years planning on what I wanted to be and I always end up not really liking it. I cherished the experiences and lessons I learned but what can I do if I found out that I am not really happy living such kind of life? I would say that I had achieved MOST of what I dreamt of. But 4 years had passed, here I am, still unsure what I wanted in my life. So I guess, the best solution I could think of is to stop planning. Anyway, I could never predict the future.  As the song says "Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see". 


Lucky are those who easily find what they wanted. But it just doesn't work that way to everyone. My goal is to continue my life, stay happy and I guess I will just have to find it along the way.

"My goal is not to wake up at age 40 with the bitter realization that I have wasted my life on a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens" - Daria

instant noodle

I've realized two things today: money can't buy a family's love and fate's a traitor. It's 2:30 am and I guess my friend had already found out that his dad had already left our world. I feel guilty not telling him but a part of me was hoping he'll be okay until he gets back home. i cried and i do not care. I used to be passive on feelings like this but i guess my own experiences changed me. i am more sensitive (and emotional).


destiny, fate... no one can tell. i say it's a traitor. you can never guess, you can never plan. when you try so hard to get what you want and you think you can have it, you will never if it is really not for you to get. it sometimes feel like a waste of time trying when at the end, you'll get nothing. it's a traitor because sometimes it will give you a life you do not even want. when you strive for something and you're almost successful in achieving your dream then suddenly your world turns upside down. no warnings. no questions asked. in a minute, in a second, our lives can change. either causes happiness or shock.


but then, after writing all these realizations, i just remembered why i keep on going. it's not really the goal. it's HOW you get there. it's HOW you surpassed the challenges.

Fader

If you feel down, you shouldn't listen to sad music right?

Here's what I have now, my so-called background music when I am trying to finish my 238 day challenge.

I'm in transit

Floating stranded on this boat

And I pledge my self allegiance

To a better night sleep at home

And the sweet sweet sun's comin' down hard

The sun's comin' down hard

It burns the bones

So hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover from harm

Woo oo oo...

Talk don't change a thing

Oh, it's fading fader

Woo oo oo...

Words don't sink it swims

Oh, it's fading fader

Bless this mess

We tried our best

That's all that we can do

While the angels walk

With the lonely ones

In the cold rain to rescue you

And this fable world's comin' down hard

The wall's comin' down hard

On all our homes

So hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover from harm

Woo oo oo...

Talk don't change a thing

Oh, it's fading fader

Woo oo oo...

Words don't sink it swims

Oh, it's fading fader

Cheers to The Temper Trap!!! ^^,

The Unforgettable Bur Dubai Experience

It was January 1 and I already spent half of my day inside my room. I just came from night shift (Yes! I welcomed 2012 inside the office. so much for my first new year's eve in Dubai!) and I was too sleepy to go out. Then a friend suddenly called me. She wanted to buy a new mobile phone. So we decided to go out. We can't decide where to go, and since we are hoping to get a cheaper price, we decided to go to Bur Dubai. We took the bus and since it was my first time to ride the bus here in Dubai, I'm so excited! Although it only cost us less than AED 5.00, it took us almost 2 hours before we get there! But on the bright side, I get to see a few parts of Dubai for like $1.50! We were already starving when we get there and the only food we could see is shawarma, so we bought chicken shawarma (AED 4.00) and a bottled water (AED 1.00). Then we headed to the Dubai creek. The Dubai creek separates Deira (where I live) and Bur Dubai and one can cross it by riding a water taxi. 

water taxi

We sat in one of the benches facing the creek. A lot of tourists can also be seen wandering around, but there are a lot more guys holding the hands of each other while walking. Culture shock? I guess I'm still not used to it, coz I still wonder, is it a normal custom or they are really gays? Anyway, it's none of my business anymore...

Dubai Creek at night: our view while eating

Back to my story.  After eating, we continued our plan to search for a cheap phone and digital camera. 

We accidentally went inside this small shop that sells variety of nuts and chocolates! The chocolates were sold at AED 25.00/kilo. My eyes were twinkling, so I bought a few since I don't know how it really taste. But I just saw one of my fave, Bon Bon!!! I used to buy it all the time at 7Eleven back in Manila. 

Bon Bon!!!

Total Price: AED 12.50
(si kuya nakiki-pose pa! haha)

After that, we started our gadget hunting again. We went from one store to another. There weren't really that much to see. There are a lot of stores that sells clothes, electronic appliances, shoes, jewelry, gold, etc. but it wasn't  really something surprising. But since we're already there and both of us are such cheapskates, we still continued our search. 

Then we stumbled into this shop named Omanian Trading that sells watches and other gadgets. I was able to buy my camera there for a quite cheaper price (compared to Duty Free) and my friend got a discount in her mobile as well. It took us quite some time before we left because my friend was bargaining with the price although at the end, she still succumb to the price that was given to her. It was quite a tricky purchase since we were buying which was supposed to be brand new stuffs but the boxes weren't sealed. I was excited to get a new camera and I haven't even thought of that. After my friend checked the phone, we left. When we arrived in our room, we noticed there's a defect in the phone. My friend doesn't feel satisfied and comfortable so we decided to go back to Bur Dubai at 10:45 pm!!! When we get there again (we just took a cab), the store keeper doesn't want to replace the phone and they don't even want to give a refund!!! They said they will replace it on the next day! Come on, we don't have time to go back again so we insisted to either replace it right there and then or refund the money. At last, when my friend threatened them she will call the police, they decided to get a new one. Good thing, it was working. But the scary part is, the box has a sealed plastic, but the real seal of the box is already broken and even the battery's sealed plastic has been opened! So yeah, it was scary, but my friend cannot do anything anymore coz it's either she takes it or lose the whole amount she just paid. 

It was a not so good shopping experience for us (thinking it was my first time to go there). I will definitely go back but I won't buy any gadgets or other expensive stuffs anymore --- Totally not recommended.

**Photos courtesy of my friend. ^^,