The So-called Quarter Life Crisis

It's been 8 months and I feel that I'm still trapped here wasting my time. Well, not totally. I still get to go around the city and the beach (which I really, really love!) but it seems that I'm going nowhere if I stay here longer.


On my way home tonight, I told my supervisor that I don't have any plans in my life (I'm giving her a hint that I'm leaving very soon but most probably she didn't get it). She told me it's fine since I'm still "quite" young but I should think about my plans more seriously when I turn 25. So that means I only have a few months left to fool around? I had told myself that I will do whatever makes me happy. I spent most of my younger years planning on what I wanted to be and I always end up not really liking it. I cherished the experiences and lessons I learned but what can I do if I found out that I am not really happy living such kind of life? I would say that I had achieved MOST of what I dreamt of. But 4 years had passed, here I am, still unsure what I wanted in my life. So I guess, the best solution I could think of is to stop planning. Anyway, I could never predict the future.  As the song says "Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see". 


Lucky are those who easily find what they wanted. But it just doesn't work that way to everyone. My goal is to continue my life, stay happy and I guess I will just have to find it along the way.

"My goal is not to wake up at age 40 with the bitter realization that I have wasted my life on a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens" - Daria

instant noodle

I've realized two things today: money can't buy a family's love and fate's a traitor. It's 2:30 am and I guess my friend had already found out that his dad had already left our world. I feel guilty not telling him but a part of me was hoping he'll be okay until he gets back home. i cried and i do not care. I used to be passive on feelings like this but i guess my own experiences changed me. i am more sensitive (and emotional).


destiny, fate... no one can tell. i say it's a traitor. you can never guess, you can never plan. when you try so hard to get what you want and you think you can have it, you will never if it is really not for you to get. it sometimes feel like a waste of time trying when at the end, you'll get nothing. it's a traitor because sometimes it will give you a life you do not even want. when you strive for something and you're almost successful in achieving your dream then suddenly your world turns upside down. no warnings. no questions asked. in a minute, in a second, our lives can change. either causes happiness or shock.


but then, after writing all these realizations, i just remembered why i keep on going. it's not really the goal. it's HOW you get there. it's HOW you surpassed the challenges.

Fader

If you feel down, you shouldn't listen to sad music right?

Here's what I have now, my so-called background music when I am trying to finish my 238 day challenge.

I'm in transit

Floating stranded on this boat

And I pledge my self allegiance

To a better night sleep at home

And the sweet sweet sun's comin' down hard

The sun's comin' down hard

It burns the bones

So hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover from harm

Woo oo oo...

Talk don't change a thing

Oh, it's fading fader

Woo oo oo...

Words don't sink it swims

Oh, it's fading fader

Bless this mess

We tried our best

That's all that we can do

While the angels walk

With the lonely ones

In the cold rain to rescue you

And this fable world's comin' down hard

The wall's comin' down hard

On all our homes

So hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover

Hold a hand for cover from harm

Woo oo oo...

Talk don't change a thing

Oh, it's fading fader

Woo oo oo...

Words don't sink it swims

Oh, it's fading fader

Cheers to The Temper Trap!!! ^^,